Monday, April 27, 2009
Party Down: Pack Your Picnic And Your Pistol
We’re planning a big party to celebrate the victory in the Tennessee Legislature for all of us who hold our guns as close as our families.
It will be held upon the close of the legislative session, and we hope you will bring your pistols with you as we are finally relieved of the unrighteous burden forced on us by an unfair state that prevented us from packing heat in our local parks.
Finally, our campaign to subvert the plans of Barack Obama to seize our AK-47’s is picking up momentum. Our prayers have been answered by the decision by our state legislature to allow us to take our handguns into parks.
Yes, we’re disappointed that we still can’t carry our assault weapons into our local parks, but we are confident that the wisdom and faithful leadership of our right-thinking legislators will right that wrong in next year’s session.
Do Unto Others
With God’s help, by next year at this time, we will have removed these unconstitutional hurdles to gun ownership, and by then, we can begin to put shooting galleries in our parks (or we could just turn our parks into shooting galleries, whichever comes first).
It seems clear to us that if we can return prayer to our schools and guns to our playgrounds, we can return to the traditional family values of God and guns that have made our nation what it is today.
Our “Party in the Park” gives all of us who revere the Second Amendment at all costs (It’s a gun, not a choice.) to pay tribute to the leadership of our two special God-fearing, gun-toting legislators – Senator Paul Stanley of Germantown and Rep. Mae Beavers of Mt. Juliet.
Pack Your Picnic Basket With Bullets
So pack your picnic basket and your handguns and come out for this special celebration. We’ll announce the exact day as soon as the Tennessee Legislature ends, but we already know the locations:
* Our West Tennessee party will be held in Riverdale Park in Germantown, a couple of blocks from Sen. Stanley’s home on 7511 Neshoba, and we hope he’ll send his two children over early for the special kids’ activities.
* Meanwhile, we’ll hold our special Middle Tennessee party at Whalen Park across from Rep. Beavers’ house on Hunters Place, and we look forward to welcoming her two sons for the children’s morning activities.
A Religious Experience
We look forward to demonstrating to our legislators the impact of their leadership, so gather up your firearms and come on down to join our party to thank them for their leadership in making sure that guns are as welcome in our parks as people are.
In case of rain, we’ll gather in a nearby restaurant, and thanks to the same legislators, you won’t have to leave your guns in your car.